This book has been sitting on my shelf for quite some time. (Lots of Words, MI Rite?) But, I’m glad I fina lly picked it up. It’s been really been interesting to read on how human nature works and how to catch yourself to better think with EQ vs. well… emotions. Here’s a few of the great point that’s made:

  • It is with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.
    – The Little Prince
  • Our emotions wire us.
    • Anger | blood flows to the hands and makes it easier to grab a weapon or strike.
    • Fear | blog goes to the legs making it easier to run
    • Happiness | bring more energy to energy ande inhibits negative feelings
    • Surprise | Open eyes to take in more light to see things.
    • Sadness | Slows things down. Drops energy. Maybe to keep us close to home and safe.
  • We have a better memory of things when they’re emotional (scared, happy, etc.). Idea of TEA that children are more open to learn when adrenaline is pumping, rather than behind a desk.
  • Academics or IQ have no relation to life success.
  • Interpersonal intelligence is more important – Understanding how people work, what otivates them, how to work cooperatively, etc.
  • Emotional intelligence is: (Knowing one’s emotions (Self awareness), Managing emotions (Handling them appropriately), Motivating oneself, Recognizing emotions in others (Empathy) and Handling relationships (social competence))
    • Self aware of the moods and how it affects you. If they’re in a bad mood, they don’t ruminate on it. They figure out how to get out of it.
      • Others may feel engulfed (victim and don’t know how to escape) or accepting (don’t want to do anything about it, which is also how depression works). Be self aware and find ways to adjust it.
  • Keeping our emotions in check helps our own stability. The emotions that wax for too long and too intensely undermine our stability.
  • Anger is seldom without a reason, but seldom a good one.
  • It’s hard to stay angry when we’re having a pleasant time.
  • Exercise helps with anger.
  • Reframing the situation helps. Cancer patients wewre in better moods if they brought to mind other patients in worse shape.
  • The top people perform 10,000 hours, while second tier us 7500.
  • Always continue to have enthusiasm and persistance in the face of setbacks to succeed. Anxiety and anxious kill the ability to succeed.
  • Good moods enhance the ability to think flexibly and with more complexity.
  • Students with high hopes set themselves with higher goals and know how to attain them.
  • Optimistic people see failure as something that can be changed to succeed next time. This is key in sales. If at first they say no, try a different approach.
  • Find your flow. THi sis when the peak performance becomes focused and natural. (If the task is too simple, it’s boring. If it’s too challenging, it creates anxiety.)
  • To have empathy, you must be calm and receptive.
  • You can also set the tone so people mirror you. Set the emotional tone when you meet people.
  • Be a social chameleon. Don’t draw attention to yourself. Don’t argue or disagree. Fit in. Observe first. Then react.
  • When someone is angry, you must distract them. Then connect with them emotionally and empathize. Then draw them into an alternative focus to a more positive range of feelings.
  • LIstening is a skill that keeps couples together.
  • Try mirroring. “Repeat it into your own words on how they feel.”
  • Leadership is not domination, but the art of persuading people to work toward a common goal.
  • Stress makes people stupid.
  • Criticism doesn’t motivate.
  • Invest in relationships before you need them. Put in time in cultivating these relationships.
  • Optimistic people tend to live longer than pessimistic people. Pessimism leads to depression.